Operation Irritation
by The Fandom Alchemist
Summary: Sometimes Mircea Tepes was rather glad that nobody knew where he lived. Not that he feared for his life or anything. People wonder how Mircea managed to figure out where they lived. They wish he didn't. A collection of oneshots in which Mircea launches Operation Irritation and everybody is, indeed, irritated. (T rating because Mircea is, quite frankly, insane)
1. I 'mustache' you to go die

_**"Sometimes Mircea Tepes was rather glad that nobody knew where he lived. Not that he feared for his life or anything. People wonder how Mircea managed to figure out where they lived. They wish he didn't. A collection of oneshots in which Mircea launches Operation Irritation and everybody is, indeed, irritated."**_

**Disclaimer: I do not have ownership of ****_Gargoyle Legends_****, which is really owned by Heather Fleming. This disclaimer applies to this and all future chapters of ****_Operation Irritation_****. This operation will consist of information from ****_The Gargoyle Club_**** to ****_Brimstone Angels_****. Spoilers are existent. Do not expect frequent updates.**

**I 'mustache' you to go die**

**In which an irrational (rational) fear of permanent markers begins for Abdiel St. Jude.**

Abdiel scowled as he dumped the last corpse into the pit he and Kiyo had dug up. Without any glorification, he picked up the shovel leaning against the nearby tree and proceeded to dump dirt on the pile of dead bodies. That was it. Nothing fancy, no special words, just dumping on the dirt. It wasn't like this was a new occurrence for the gargoyle knight. Sometimes he burned the bodies, but when there was nowhere to burn them in, he simply settled for burying them in a nearby wood.

When the last bit of dirt was put back in place, Abdiel finally allowed himself to look at Kiyo.

"Good hunt."

Kiyo simply nodded, not even batting an eye as suddenly, Abdiel St. Jude disappeared. She knew that after a hunt he usually liked to ley-line travel back to his home, take a shower, and drug himself into oblivion so he could finally get some elusive sleep. There were often no parting words, as Abdiel spoke very basic Japanese and she absolutely no English. Making the ley-line to her temple in Japan, she closed her eyes as the bright light consumed her.

* * *

Mircea smirked as he quietly slinked into the silent house in the middle of nowhere, Arizona. He had to be especially careful if he wanted to surprise the prince when he came to get him for some…training. Nothing like learning how to devour demon souls to tone a person's body. Very carefully, he went towards the room that he knew Abdiel slept in. It had taken the demon months to figure out where exactly the famous (or infamous, depending on who you are) nephilim lived. Planning on taking a nap on said nephilim's bed just to annoy him, Mircea was just about to jump onto the bed when he noticed the fact that it was already occupied by a body clutching a bag of tablets.

The smirk grew into a somewhat terrifying grin.

Tip-toeing (just for the fun of it, not because he actually needed to) out of the room and into what he had discovered a while ago was Abdiel's study/war room, Mircea opened the desk drawer and retrieved his weapon of choice. He quickly tested out on his own hand before creeping back into the bedroom.

He listened carefully to Abdiel's steady heartbeat before deciding that his victim was indeed, knocked out. Clicking on the light, he went nearer to the prone body, and readied his weapon. Ten minutes later, he left the room, smug satisfaction clear on his face. Just as he was about to step out of the house, he stopped, and smirked once more.

"What's the point of doing something like this if no one knows it was me?" he chuckled to himself quickly taking out a piece of paper and jotting down a "Hey, there, BFF!" and drawing a large smiley face that he humbly thought had a brilliant resemblance to himself, he placed the note one the desk of the war room where he was sure Abdiel would see it. Then, he simply forged the ley-line back to his own hang-out and left, moments before Abdiel woke up.

* * *

Abdiel groaned as he got up. He was sore all over, still exhausted, felt as if he hadn't slept at _all_, and his faced itched.

Abso-freaking-lutely _wonderful_.

Upon finally _leaving_ his bed, the gargoyle knight went to get a quick snack, translating to a pound of ice-cream. And that wasn't even including the _toppings_. After drowning his frozen sugar in chocolate syrup and sprinkles, he brought his bowl to the war room.

_Might as well get some work done_, he thought, opening a window for any news on recent murders or disappearances. Just as he was about to set his bowl down, he noticed a paper crane staring at him from in front of his stack of 'to read' books.

_When did that get there?_ As carefully as he could, Abdiel attempted to unfold the crane, finally succeeding with a rather crumpled piece of paper clutched in his hand.

"HEY THERE, BFF!" was written in a messy scrawl over the sheet with what appeared to be a smiley face sticking its tongue out. And now that Abdiel looked closer, the face looked a lot like what _Mircea_ might look like with a mustache and eye-patch…

"**!" He exclaimed, remembering the itching sensation he had felt between his nose and lip, all over his left eye, and on his right cheek when he had first woken up. He rushed to the only mirror in his house – in the bathroom - and stared in horror at his face.

Drawn in dark blue over his face was a broom-shaped mustache that looked more like a caterpillar than anything, what he guessed was _supposed_ to be an eye-patch (in reality, it looked like he had a black eye with a piece of string attached), and a large scar with fake stitches crossing over it. What was worse was the fact that Abdiel actually recognized that shade of blue.

_He didn't…_ his face turned pale under all the ink as Abdiel was gripped with even more terror than when the cave-in incident happened. Running back into the war-room he practically tore open the drawer to reveal an un-capped (even though he specifically remembered _capping_ it) dark blue _permanent _marker rolling around.

Not even caring about hygiene anymore, he spat into his hand and tried to wipe off the ink.

Key word: _tried_.

He pulled away his hand and noticed how there wasn't even a tiny _smear_ of colour on his hand.

* * *

It was a month later. Mircea Tepes was still rather _glad_ that nobody knew where exactly he lived. Not that he was afraid for his life or anything.


	2. BITE THE APPLE! BITE IT I SAY!

**Two things updated within twenty four hours! This must be a new record or something (for me.)**

**Based on a certain scene appearing in ****_Brimstone Angels_****, because it is my belief that after a couple centuries, Mircea had run out of good ideas, then proceeded to copy old ones. **

**BITE THE APPLE! BITE IT I SAY!**

**In which the parents watch in amusement as the incredibly**_** annoying**_** teacher's precious school play falls into pieces.**

* * *

It was a fact that Ariel Cinders did not like to act. As in _Drama_ acting. This may be because of her preference to being unnoticed, because most plays she had to do were just plain stupid (or the other actors were), or simply because she didn't like it.

So when the annual play at her school was happening, something that she had absolutely no choice in the matter for, she wasn't all that pleased. Especially since she was chosen as the lead actor. This better have not been because of her name; if it was, nine-years-old or not, Ariel was going to _murder_ her teacher. A very painful murder.

Ariel didn't quite get why she was chosen as Snow White. She didn't have white skin, or black hair, or red lips. And she knew that she wasn't the best at drama. So that meant that the most likely reason for her being the main character was because of her Disney-princess name. Whatever the reason, Ariel was determined, with all of her childish stubbornness, that she would _not_ enjoy the play.

You know that part where the Queen becomes the ugly old hag? The poor kid who was chosen as the old witch seemed…off. If Ariel remembered correctly, the boy was usually just as shy as herself. Somehow, he had become load and generally quite idiotic, while still looking the same. This was proved by the fact that, right in front of all of the watching parents, on performance day, he was going completely off script.

"Would you like an apple, Princess?"

Ariel scowled. She did _not like being called 'princess'_. Boys tended to tease her for her name (while failing to realized that they just proved that they watched princess movies), and that besides, the moron was supposed to say 'Would you like an apple, dearie.' This whole thing was getting rather annoying, especially since the princess she was playing was pretty much the most pathetic and non-awesome princess in the world.

"No, I shouldn't! The dwarves said not to take things from strangers!" Why couldn't she have been a minor character?

"Take the apple."

That was all wrong! If the kid insisted on being incorrect, then she could be too. "No!"

"Take the apple!"

"I don't wanna!"

Upon accidently looking at the teacher, Ariel noticed her rather obvious hand gestures telling her to take the apple. Sighing, she complied with the idio-_teacher's_ wishes. "Fine." She said grudgingly.

"Good, good. Now bite it."

This was as far as Ariel wanted to go. There was no way she was going to bite the apple that came from the kid's grubby hands, and she voiced that much, right on stage.

"Too bad. Now bite the apple! Bite it I say!"

"NO!"

"BITE THE **ING APPLE! BITE IT! BITE IT I SAY!"

Ariel couldn't keep the shock from showing on her face as she registered that _very much forbidden_ word that her parents told her to _never say_, despite using it themselves. So she screamed the only thought that came to her.

"POTTY MOUTH!"

"No, you are!"

The tiny patience of a nine-year-old snapped as Ariel found herself flying at the boy. If she wasn't so focused on pummeling the kid, she would have noticed the shock on everyone else's face as she moved from one area to another so fast that their eyes couldn't even follow her. Or the shock of watching a rather innocent looking girl punch (and possibly break) the nose of a slightly less angelic child.

Mircea was rather surprised that the girl actually _attacked _him. He was even more surprised by the sudden appearance of a new gargoyle aura (though rather weak) coming from right on top of him. Which means that the girl had somehow managed to awaken without changing her form. The surprise made it a little harder for him to dodge the girl's lunge, as well as to avoid (or block) the punch that came soon after.

_What was her name? 'Twas Cinderella Cinders. Or something like that._ Smiling at the new gargoyle, he easily blocked her next clumsy attack as the teacher and cast tried to pry the girl off of him. Eventually they succeeded, dragging the two of them behind the scenes, hopefully not near where Mircea had hid the prone body of the actual 'old hag'.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU DISRESPECT EVERYONE! YOU BRAWLED OUT, DESTROYED THE ENTIRE PLAY, AND RUINED THE COSTUMES! WHAT THE ** DO YOU TWO THINK YOU WERE DOING?!"

"He started it."

"I DON'T **ING CARE WHO STARTED IT! DETENTION! GET YOUR PARENTS RIGHT HERE AND EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS TO THEM!"

"She started it."

"DO YOU NOT KNOW WHEN TO **ING _STOP_?!"

"You know that both of you are potty-mouths? You should go wash out your mouth with soap." The words flew from Ariel's mouth before she could even think of how much more trouble they might cause her. Trouble that came in the form of one raspberry and one more round of yelling.

As the teacher stomped off to find their parents, Ariel turned to the boy. "This is all your fault."

But he was gone.

Jerold did _not_ know what was going on. One moment he was dressing up for the play, and the next he was being dragged out of a closet and screamed at by both his parents and teacher. He didn't really want to know what was going on either, or why a previously unnoticed girl that he didn't even know existed until she showed up for a detention (that he still didn't think he deserved) was glaring at him with a look that clearly screamed 'BLOOD!'

He hated his life.

And Mircea? Mircea was sitting on the school roof, cackling like a mad-man, extremely pleased with the trouble he had caused.

* * *

**My brain has died.**


	3. Christmas Special!

**Merry Christmas! (Or at least to everybody who celebrates it) This was a quickie Christmas Special! Takes place a bit before the seal falls, just because Christmas for the year 2012 is entirely questionable for the gargoyles and demons fighting. As much as I hate to admit it. at least this isn't angst!**

**Christmas Special!**

**In which a heartfelt (on one side, at least) conversation is commenced, and _Jingle Bells_ becomes the demon's ally.**

* * *

Eden was not very happy. This was shown with the large scowl on her face, something that was completely reasonable, thank you very much. Because Mircea was an idiot, no doubt about it. With only three hours until the seal would break, the demon had called her over saying that he had something very important tell her. Expecting it to be key information for when they invaded hell, and preparing to yell at him for not saying anything useful earlier, when they were discussing strategy, she had gone along.

That was one moment when expectations differed from reality greatly.

Mircea had grabbed hold of her hand first thing, and if not for the fact that she was extremely shocked, Eden would have had no trouble either dodging or shaking off the offending hand. But of course she was too surprised to react, and then the world became nothing but pretty lights similar to the jump in _Star Wars_ and the echoing sound of Mircea laughing his head off. Again.

Ley-line travel, then.

To more of Eden's surprise, when Mircea finished making the jump, everything was still white. And covered in snow. This wasn't really a problem, since gargoyles were pretty much immune to cold (or hot) weather, but the fact that she was in what she recognised to be the Himalayas instead of Rome, where she was supposed to be preparing for the upcoming invasion was indeed, a problem.

And the fact that she was stuck there with Mircea.

The nephilim was about to make the jump back to the nearest vortex in Rome, when the most annoying person on the planet spoke up.

"You know that I care about you."

Eden stared at him. "_What?!_"

"What we have is special." continued Mircea, ignoring the brief interruption in his monologue.

"I don't think so!"

"We might never see each other again."

"Good. I hope you die."

"I'll-Hey!" Mircea yelped, looking at Eden with a hurt expression. "That hurt! You were supposed to say something like 'Impossible! I'll go to hell and back to find you!"

"But we'll already be in hell." Eden returned, feeling completely exhausted before the fighting even started.

"Yeah, well-never mind." Mircea sighed. "Ahem, I'll miss you."

"Well, I won't miss you."

"Will you at least _try_ to play along?!"

"Probably not."

The puppy-dog expression was directed at Eden. She didn't flinch, though her eye did twitch. The demon sent a slight glare her way before quickly finishing his speech without leaving any room for interruptions. "Which-is-why-I'm-giving-you-a-parting-good-bye-early-Christmas-present!"

He shoved the 'present' at her. Eden looked at the thin package-an envelope in surprise, having already reflexively stepped back to avoid being conked on the face.

The surprise turned to suspicion. "_What_ is this?", she asked, mind already trying to come up with ways that Mircea could have rigged the envelope.

"I told you already; an early Christmas present!" Mircea looked significantly happier.

"No, I mean 'what's in it?'"

Eden was met with an affronted stare. "I can't tell you! That's like, a spoiler! Now open it!"

The nephilim looked at the package warily. On one hand, Mircea was insane and a tiny bit (very much) sociopathic. On the other, the envelope was practically flat, with no large bumps where anything hazardous might be. And as crazy as Mircea is, he had his best interests at heart, and definitely would not want to lose his heavy-hitter before the fighting began. She took the package, ignoring the cry of "That's the spirit!"

Eden ripped open the sealed envelope flap (hoping that it was sealed with water and not…Mircea cooties), to reveal what must have once been a store-bought card, now murdered and covered in bits of construction paper, glitter, and globs of glue. 'Merry Christmas' was emblazed on it in bright (and sparkly) writing, and underneath was a drawing of what appeared to be a Mircea-Santa holding a demon head in one hand, making a peace sign with the other. She opened the envelope, avoiding the still wet-looking glue spots, only to be met with a loud cry of 'Jingle bells!'

Which meant that the dumb card was a _music_ dumb card. Freaking brilliant. Eden closed the card, only for the music to _not stop playing_. She looked at the tab, fully out of the card's slot and too flimsy to slip back in, and at Mircea, who was attempting to stiffle his laughter with his fist in order to not drown out the song.

"So, do ya li-"

The nephilem used the opening Mircea provided to stuff the card into his mouth, envelope and all, then ley-line traveled back to the vortex in Rome.

Eden could only hope that she didn't have _Jingle Bells_ stuck in her head as she was fighting against the demons.


	4. I'm like, so totally Team Leo! (Squee)

**Attention. THIS OPERATION CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ****_MARK OF ATHENA_****, THE THIRD BOOK IN THE ****_HEROES OF OLYMPUS_**** SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN. DO NOT READ THIS OPERATION IF YOU HAVE DO NOT ALREADY KNOW THE ENDING, WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN SPOILED OR READ THE ACTUAL BOOK. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.**

**Sorry for taking so long to get this Operation out. I wanted to have another one written out (now in the process of being typed out) before I posted this so that, within a week, anybody who hasn't read MoA (however unlikely) can read something with a bit of Mircea's craziness. In general, this comes from a brief mention in ****_Brimstone Angels_**** involving the fact that Mircea knows how MoA ended. You can see how that went. This is mainly dedicated to Asilda, but also to all the other awesome ****_Gargoyle Legends_**** fans.**

**I'm like, so totally Team Leo**

**In which Mircea becomes a fandom troll. Spoiles for ****_Mark of Athena_****.**

* * *

Andre was _not_ happy.

After about a week of relative civil-ness between him and his father, the stress had finally gotten to both of them, and _snap_.

Therefore, using the excuse of work, Andre had pretty much locked himself in his office, trying to concentrate in order to accomplish enough to satisfy his father.

It didn't help that on his calendar, that very date-October 2nd-was circled.

Because the _Mark of Athena _had _finally _been released, after nearly a year. And Andre was still stuck doing work-_paper_work, meaning that he had forgotten to grab his laptop. And his phone. Leaving them in the same spot, and therefore leaving himself without the option of buying the newly released piece of pure awesomeness as an e-book.

Finally, as he signed the last document, Andre heard the soft sound of the window opening.

It was at that moment that he thoroughly regretted not latching the window.

Grinning at him from his perch on the windowsill was Mircea. And considering the fact that it was mainly the demon's fault for Eden running off, Andre was rather displeased at the appearance of his great-great-whatever-grandfather.

Without and invitation, Mircea proceeded to backflip-using his superhuman powers to his full advantage-into Andre's office, landing perfectly with his grubby shoes right on Andre's stack of documents. Andre glared at the feet, then at their owner, who was bowing to the imaginary applause on the other side of his desk as if his backflip (with an extra twirl at the end) was something impressive.

Because it wasn't. At least, that was what Andre was telling himself.

Mircea straightened out his outfit-ripped jeans, orange t-shirt, and a leather jacket-before turning towards the younger of the two. He sent Andre a smile-a genuine one, which somehow did not make him feel any better-and said, "Where y'at, Bestie"

Andre found himself scowling and glaring pointedly at Mircea's feet once more, this time because Mircea's little spin had knocked over his ink jar. "Do you _mind_?" he asked with unusual grumpiness. "Plus, 'bestie' is a girly term."

"Na-uh! 'Bestie' is the manliest of them all! And, while I do mind, _mon cher_, I find it too _adorable_ that you're doing the family business! So cute!" said Mircea cheerfully, bending down to give the disgruntled gargoyle's cheeks a squeeze.

About to swat his ancestor's hands away, Andre was momentarily distracted some unusual features in the demon's appearance.

One of them being-

"Is that a _wrench_ in your back pocket?!"

"Yeah, and did you notice my CHB shirt, tool belt, super-awesome-roll of duct tape, 'HOT STUFF' tattoo (Oh, wait you can't see it with my jacket on. Here. See?!), goggles-'

"_Why_?!" Andre interrupted, somewhat curious and mostly annoyed.

"Because. I'm like, so totally Team Leo, duh!"

Andre felt his eyebrows rising to behind his bangs. "Team _What?_"

"Team Leo, from _MoA_! Also, stop using italics in your speech."

Andre's head, meet Mircea's feet. Mircea's feet, Andre's head (In reality, Andre was attempting to do the anime 'headdesk', failing somewhat when he forgot that the demon's feet were still in the way).

In that moment, said demon did what Andre would later insist to be a 'sweatdrop', leaning in close enough to hear Andre mutter into his scuffed shoes something about 'having not read the book yet'. This, of course, prompted Mircea to start annoying his dear 'grandson'.

"WHAT?!" he cried in outrage, looking at Andre in horror. "How could you not have?! Shame! It's like, the most awesome thing ever!"

Andre muttered something about work, which Mircea just rolled his eyes to as he continued.

"I mean, the ending! The common fan-theory; that Annabeth is the last of the seven, is completely true, as proven in the book! And she goes on this AWESOME quest to recover Athena's statue, and has to figure everything out on her own, and she's just like, generally bad**. Meanwhile, Percy, Leo, Jason, Hazel, Frankie, and Piper are going to save Nico, who's captured by the giants for Dionysus (he's not nearly as much as a party-animal as the series suggests). The Team Leo part is because Leo and Hazel create Team Leo as a fanbase to trick the nymphs, and it's _so_ much better than any of those dumb _Twilight_ teams. Percy, Jason, and Piper have to deal with Heracles, and in the end-"

"I do _not_ need to hear this!" Andre said miserably, looking very much like he wanted to just melt through the floor to somewhere where Mircea's spoilers wouldn't be heard by his gargoyle hearing.

"And in the end," Mircea continued, ignoring the interruption, "In the end, Annabeth has to trick Arachne in order to release the statue's magic!" he finished, smirking triumphantly.

Andre just groaned.

"Oh, and I almost forgot! Afterwards, Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus, promising to meet the rest of the seven at the Doors of Death!"

Something in Andre snapped as he jumped up, surprising Mircea if the look on his face was any hint, and reaching out to fist his hand in the demon's collar, a homicidal look on the usually cheerful face.

"Do. Not. Give. _Spoilers_." He snarled out, drawing back the hand not holding Mircea up in order to acquaint said hand with said demon's face. Thankfully, his hold on the older was strong enough that Mircea didn't go flying through door.

Mircea, however, didn't appear to be hurt in the slightest. He simply reached into his pocket, cool as a cucumber (because yes, cucumbers are _very_ cool), and whipped out his wrench, hooking the part where it was supposed to go around a bolt around Andre's fingers. He yanked on the steel, prying Andre's hand off his shirt, and did another backflip, this time landing lightly on the floor.

"Oh, look at the time!" he said, looking at his nonexistent watch in mock surprise. He quickly dived out of the window before Andre could even blink, said gargoyle regretting not having his office on a higher floor.

Mircea turned around again and sent another smirk at Andre.

"One more thing, Bestie! Leo is actually Sammy Valdez's grandson!"

This time Mircea stepped back, avoiding Andre's second punch.


	5. Sometimes I feel like the world hates me

**Okay. So maybe not within a week, per say…**

**Sometimes I feel as if the world hates me.**

**In which Tobias is very much afraid of an 8-year-old brat. For once, Abdiel is semi amused.**

* * *

Of course, on the _one_ day that he decides to visit his…friend, Tobias could not find Luc-_Abdiel_ anywhere in his ridiculously large and out-of-the-way home. Calls went to voicemail. And seriously, this was pretty much the one time Tobias actually wanted to train.

Things were going fairly normally that day, not counting his unexplainable urge to get used to his new gargoyle form. Tobias had ley-line traveled to Arizona (using a grand total of two trips), changed into his gargoyle form, and flown over to Abdiel's place in the middle of nowhere. All of that was quite a bit of work by his standards (being absolutely nothing to do with his supernatural powers), so when Tobias had entered the silent household, he had simply plopped onto Abdiel's semi-clean leather couch of the surprisingly well-furnished living room and started picking his fingernails, waiting for the nephilim to return, getting up to go to Abdiel's library partly through his wait. Because seriously, Lucien. Why are you taking for-freaking-ever?

Ahem. He meant Abdiel.

About an hour later, the sound of Abdiel's front door opening and closing knocked Tobias out of his somewhat vegetative state. He got off the couch and started towards the door, ready to mimic the ever-so-lovely Ferrari sibling's tendency to (rudely) demand to know just _what_ Abdiel was doing. That was all ruined when, instead of seeing the man with chestnut hair and piercing green eyes he was expecting, the door had opened to reveal the smirking face of an (approximately) 8-year-old boy.

The boy had dark, jet-black hair that seemed almost silvery as the light reflected off of it, and a wicked expression that didn't quite match the childlike large eyes. Of course that was ruined by the fact that they were pitch-black and seemed pretty much soulless, if Tobias believed in that kind of stuff. He didn't, believing in much more realistic things like aura and blood magic. Back to the previous topic; the boy was wearing denim overalls with all sorts of (pointy) things poking out of its pockets. He was also wearing the expression of someone who had been told that Christmas was coming early, oh, sorry; it's not, but Halloween's coming up too, so that's just as good.

"Who are _you_?" Tobias asked, not sensing any aura from the boy.

"Excuse me, mister, but I believed I asked first." said the boy, "Who the ** are you?!"

Tobias scowled and then said two somethings that he very much regretted later. One of which was "Since when?", and the other was, "Tobias Smithson, Private Investigator. I'm here waiting for Luc-Abdiel St. Jude, and I highly doubt that he's expecting _you_, so I suggest you _leave_."

"TOBY!" the boy yelled gleefully, not confirming the very much true previous fact and, reaching out faster than Tobias could blink, snatching his gun from his holster, proceeding to race off.

Tobias watched in disbelief. Apparently, the boy was, indeed, a gargoyle. A gargoyle who was at that moment, running in the direction of Abdiel's weapons room.

He then said some things that he'd rather not repeat, afterwards chasing after the boy. Because, at that moment, he came to the realization that if the brat wrecked the house, Tobias was dead.

Ten minutes of screaming, hard work, general pain, bruises, gunshots, knife wounds, a lucky toss of Abdiel's work-in-progress spring-release net (made after drinking a couple bottles of Devil's Water alcohol), and a fairly embarrassing Pinkie promise session, Tobias was sitting in the kitchen, groaning about his bad luck and the brat, who was at that moment entertaining himself by alternatively watching television and poking the significantly weaker gargoyle's bruises hard enough to actually _create_ new ones.

Just. _When._ Will. Lucien. Come. Back?

Tobias swatted away another poke-attack, earning one on his unprotected ribs, and scowled.

"You never did answer, brat, the question about what your name was." he said, trying to distract himself from the throbbing pain.

"Why would I _ever_ do that, Toby?" the brat shot back, smirking knowingly as he landed another poke on Tobias' forehead.

"Don't call me that! And that's only if you want to be known as 'Brat'".

Brat pouted. "Fine. My name is…Barneythe**ingdinosaur…the fifth!"

Tobias felt his eyebrows rise. "I highly doubt that."

"Yeah, you're right…it's actually the hundred-and-sixty-second."

"I doubt that, too!"

"Well, that one is **ing true, Toby!"

"Don't call me that!" Tobias shouted.

The boy smirked. The Operation is accomplished. Now, to exceed expectations…

"TOBY. TobyTobyToby. TOBY-BOY. TO-"

"_Mircea?!_" both Tobias and the self-named Barneythe**ingdinosaur the hundred-and-sixty-second turned around to see the shocked face of one Lucien Keene, or, as he prefers to be called, Abdiel St. Jude. His expression would have been comical, especially coupled with the large knife he was holding, had Tobias not been wearing a very similar expression.

Brat, or Mircea, however, had not such problems and promptly whipped out a smartphone, taking a picture of the two astonished gargoyles in front of him and saving it to his background.

"Abby's back!" he shrieked in delight, jolting the two out of their surprise. "Look, Toby! Abby's back!"

Abdiel turned to Tobias. "_Toby?_"

Tobias returned the single-raised-eyebrow look. "_Abby_?"

"Well," said the youngest (by appearance). "It appears that you have company, and I shall therefore take my leave, sending both of you delightful people my sympathy for not being around my awesomeness any longer. Remember! I'm also on Facebook and Twitter! Muah!"

The last bit was pronounced as he kissed Tobias on both cheeks in a European fashion. He then proceeded to skip out the front door, through the front door (creating an interestingly shaped hole).

"So," said Abdiel, turning towards Tobias and looking torn as to whether to be angry, in hysterics, or annoyed. "Had fun?"

Tobias' response was to bash his head against a wall.

* * *

**Is it just me, or has the Operations been steadily growing crackier?**


End file.
